Supporting Children Through Grief
Helping children understand and process the concept of loss is never easy, but with patience and guidance, by supporting children through grief they can learn to manage their emotions and find comfort during difficult times.
Below are some strategies to support your child as they navigate grief and loss.
Encourage Open Conversations
Children may feel a range of emotions but struggle to express them. Let them know it is okay to feel sad, confused, or unsure of what they are feeling.
- Acknowledge their emotions and validate their experiences.
- Answer questions simply and honestly, even if the answer is “I don’t know.”
- Help younger children understand the permanence of death using clear, age-appropriate language such as “They have died” rather than euphemisms like “gone to sleep.”
Suggested Answers to Difficult Questions:
Q: Why did they die?
A: There are some things we understand and some things we don’t. We don’t know exactly why they died.
Q: Why do people die?
A: Dying is a natural part of life. All living things – plants, animals, and people – are special parts of the natural world. Nature almost always gives us long, healthy lives.
Dos and Don’ts When Talking with Your Child
DO:
- Take time to listen and answer questions simply and honestly.
- Be patient and keep explanations age-appropriate.
- Share your own sadness, showing that it’s okay to feel emotional.
- Maintain routines and patterns to provide comfort.
- Reassure your child of your love and support.
DON’T:
- Hide your grief, but try not to overwhelm your child with your emotions.
- Discourage them from expressing their feelings.
- Feel pressured to have all the answers.
- Stop them from seeing friends or engaging in normal activities.
Use Stories and Activities
Books and storytelling can provide gentle ways to help children explore their feelings. We have found the following books to be helpful:
- Paper Dolls
- The Memory Tree
- The Invisible String
These stories can help open the door for meaningful conversations.
Offer Reassurance
Grief can make children feel uncertain about their world. Providing consistency and routine at home can bring comfort, along with extra words of encouragement and affection.
Model Healthy Coping
Children take their emotional cues from adults. By showing your emotions and demonstrating healthy ways to process grief, you can model positive coping strategies.
- Take the lead from your child – answer their questions and give them space to process their feelings.
- Share your feelings honestly, such as:
“It makes me feel very sad for the family. It must be especially hard for them.”
Accessing Support
If you or your child are struggling, remember that there are resources available to help.
Resources:
- Bing Videos – Puddle Jumping: This video offers a helpful analogy for explaining how children manage their grief.
- Winston’s Wish: A charity dedicated to supporting young children and families through bereavement.
Feel free to share this guidance with others who may benefit. Let us continue to offer compassion and support as we navigate difficult times together.
